The Alpha Heir (Kingdom of Askara Book 2) Page 11

  “And the other?” Peya pushed.

  Taegan sighed. “Let’s get the kids first.” They all nodded and left.

  Taegan watched them go and thought about how at home Caleb had looked in his bed when he had woken, and how much he had just wished he could have gotten in there alongside him. He had left to do the raid because he wasn’t sure he could withstand the temptation even though any of his team leaders could have handled it. In the end, they had decided to be clever and just make a show of attacking the carts and run off. They wanted the Alphas to think they had been victorious. If they had been successful, the trails may become even more heavily guarded and they couldn’t risk that with what they needed to do to rescue the children.

  He didn’t want to think about what it would be like tonight to watch Caleb sleep. He should put him in one of the other caves, but he had made a promise to Silas, even though he knew they would never have the chance of being together — and even if he wanted it. He could never have permanency. If he had learned one thing from Paerita’s death, it was the life he had chosen must be a solitary one. He thought about Mitch’s words and knew he could never do it, and not because he found the thought of sleeping with Caleb to be disgusting or a sacrifice.

  It would be anything but.

  • • •

  “Taegan.”

  Taegan looked in confusion at his mom, who stood by the door of his room with a bowl of half eaten food. He’d walked into the passages and headed back in a daze. By the tone in Renee’s voice, he had a feeling he’d been so lost in his thoughts she’s had to say his name twice.

  “He’s still not eating enough,” she said helplessly and her blue eyes that rested on him were lit with such worry.

  He followed his mom back to the cooking area — the ones by the entrance were the only caves lit by natural light and contained the kitchen and the fires for heating their food. There was always a pot of some sort of stew kept on for when the rebels returned, or if someone was just hungry. They were lucky. They kept chickens and the wolves wanted a lot of work out of the humans that picked the grapes. It wouldn’t have been in their best interests to make them go hungry, and they always had some spare for those close that needed it.

  “He’s barely eaten anything today. Silas couldn’t even get him to.” Silas hadn’t gone to Nairn as his friend was travelling and he would send a bird when he returned. Taegan had been absent most of the day as after meeting his team leaders he had helped to train some of their men in throwing knives, which he was especially good at. It was one of the best and easiest ways of killing the gammas. No human would stand a chance in hand to hand.

  “But he ate with me yesterday.” Taegan’s belly rumbled. He wouldn’t mind some food himself.

  Renee’s eyes filled. “Mom,” Taegan pulled her forward and she fit into his arms. “What is it?” She was a warrior, his mom. She went to battle for them every day, and he hadn’t seen her this upset in a long time.

  “It’s like he’s given up, Taegan. He’ll eat when you are there, but still not enough. It’s like he knows the bare minimum that will keep him alive and it would take nothing for him to just stop altogether. I feel if he gets any thinner he’s just gonna disappear. Silas told me what he’s been through. Six years? I can’t imagine how horrible that is.” She bit her lip and swiped at her wet cheek.

  “We can’t force feed him.” Taegan tried to keep his voice reasonable even as worry gnawed at his gut. Was that it? Was he merely existing while they got the children back? Taegan had eaten a few times with him, but he generally ate quickly and was often gone before Caleb had taken a few mouthfuls. Shit, why hadn’t he stayed to make sure he finished? Because he was frightened he couldn’t keep his hands to himself. Taegan grunted in disgust. The man was starving himself while Taegan watched, and he had been so wrapped up in his own needs he hadn’t noticed.

  Well, no more.

  “He needs someone to fight for him, son, because he has no-one else, and he’s given up doing it for himself.”

  Taegan dropped a kiss on her hair and let her stand back. “Give me some stew and bread.” He smiled ruefully as her face lit up. She immediately ladled some in a big dish and gave him two spoons. In his other hand he got a huge hunk of soft fresh bread he knew Manny would have made that morning. He gave her another kiss and took it all back to his room after dismissing Jenner for the night.

  Taegan glanced at the curled up shape in his bed and put the soup and the bread down on a small rickety table. “Caleb?”

  Caleb opened his eyes. He looked dreadful. The black shadows under them were gone but his cheekbones seemed more pronounced than earlier, if that was possible. His mom was right and he cursed himself silently. “I’m sorry,” Caleb said and sat up. “Did you want me to move? I can sleep on the floor.” He reddened slightly. “I fell asleep.”

  “You must be hungry,” Taegan said, ignoring pretty much all of Caleb’s statement and lifting the bowl and balancing it between them on the cot.

  Caleb shook his head. “No, I ate.”

  Taegan just lifted his eyebrows and Caleb’s cheeks flushed with a faint hint of color. He lifted a spoon to his own lips and rolled his eyes as he swallowed and made an appreciative noise. Then he nodded to the other one in the bowl. “You’re gonna hurt her feelings.”

  Caleb sighed, but he picked up the spoon. Taegan put his down and tore a couple of chunks from the bread. Put the smaller one next to Caleb as he was taking an experimental swallow of the stew.

  Caleb dipped his spoon in the stew again. “What are you planning to do once you have the children back?”

  Taegan finished his bread. He looked carefully at Caleb and told him what Peya had said about the Alpha in Perse and the rumors surrounding the new one in Caedra. All the time he was talking Caleb was taking small mouthfuls of food, and Taegan wasn’t sure he even realized what he was doing. He didn’t think too much about how satisfying it was to see Caleb eat, but it settled him on some level he hadn’t thought about before.

  “Silas is waiting to hear when he can go visit a friend to see what he can find out, but Peya is right. If we don’t change anything then nothing will change.”

  “That’s a very wise thing to say.” Caleb smiled shyly.

  Taegan shrugged. “I’m sure I heard it from someone else.” But he liked seeing the smile on Caleb. Taegan deliberately slowed his eating. He was quite certain he could have finished the entire dish on his own, but between the smiles and the talk of a different future Caleb seemed to have relaxed and was eating.

  “The bread’s good. Manny makes it fresh.” Caleb had already finished some but he took some more at his urging and dipped it in the stew, slurping as some dripped onto his chin. Without thinking, Taegan immediately caught it in his thumb, and swiped under Caleb’s bottom lip.

  And just like that, every bit of oxygen seemed to leave the room.

  Soft eyes caressed his own. Taegan forgot his promise, the food, forgot where he was, forgot every word of Peya’s and just about forgot his own damn name. He saw Caleb lean towards him, move the bowl to the floor, and the world narrowed.

  Soft lips brushed his with a barely there touch. Then gently, ever so lightly because Taegan was scared of bruising him, of breaking him, he was kissing him back. He was so slight, fragile. Taegan held himself back, but didn’t. It was as if because he feared unleashing his strength, he had to wrap him up with something else, something almost visceral. His arms were gentle, cautious, but the strength and energy flowing through him was ferocious. An almost silent whimper stroked his ears, but Taegan heard the need and answered with his body. His large hands roamed Caleb’s back. Clothes were effortlessly removed as their bodies glided in a sinuous, soulful joining. Taegan didn’t know where his fingers ended and where Caleb’s began as the rush and heat of skin against skin melded and danced together.

  Taegan knew he had to stop. Caleb was too fragile, too hurt, too everything. But every noise, every gasp and moan was spurring
Taegan on. His head was telling him one thing, but his body was listening to another master. Caleb’s small hands pushed Taegan onto his back, and cool fingers slid Taegan’s tunic up and over his head. “Caleb?” Even as Taegan said the word, it was as if someone else spoke.

  Caleb didn’t give him chance to utter anything else because suddenly his lips were covering Taegan’s and then every thought vanished with the long, slow kisses that stole them away. Taegan’s mind was spinning as Caleb’s lips teased his own. Caleb’s sinful tongue asked his to dance, and Taegan’s dipped and swirled to music only they could hear.

  Taegan arched as Caleb licked and bit gently as he trailed lower. His neck, his chest. Caleb’s deft fingers pulled at the drawstring fastening his pants and slid them down his hips. More heat rushed to Taegan’s groin as he drowned in Caleb. Caleb’s tongue, his hands, licking and sucking, smoothing over skin that seemed to come alive.

  Cool fingers trembled as they gripped his hips and Taegan shivered involuntarily at the contrast on his hot skin. He opened his eyes and then everything in him stilled. The blanket had fallen off and the moonlight was stark against the whiteness of Caleb’s skin. Caleb was freezing but he seemed unaware of it. Caleb realized he’d stopped and his eyes shot up.

  For a second Caleb looked puzzled, but then Taegan saw the shame slide over his face and he jerked back as if Taegan had slapped him.

  “No,” Taegan said, reaching for his hand.

  Caleb scrambled away, his eyes filling. “I must disgust you.”

  “What?” Taegan said incredulously; stood up and took a step towards him. Caleb backed up to the wall until he could go no further.

  “I-I will go,” he stuttered and brushed ineffectually at his eyes.

  Taegan shook his head and gently reached out and caught his shoulder. “Come away from the wall. You’ll freeze.”

  Caleb dropped his hand and fixed his golden eyes on Taegan. Tears running unchecked down his white cheeks. “Let me die,” he begged.

  Never.

  Taegan’s hand slid between Caleb’s bare back and the coldness of the cave wall and he pulled him gently close.

  “No,” Caleb whispered, but Taegan could no more ignore the pain in the small word than he could have hurt him anymore. He drew Caleb’s shaking body close and felt the first sob push raw from Caleb’s throat. Then the dam burst. Harsh, shattered cries tore out of him; so loud, so broken. Caleb shook and Taegan swung him up even as he collapsed against him. His fists beat against Taegan’s chest, railing at the injustice, the torment, the cruelty. Six years. Taegan sat back on the bed and pressed Caleb close, rocking him gently as the grief kept pouring out.

  It seemed forever until the sobs slowed and became small gasps and mewling cries. Taegan just held him close and soothed. When the cries became the occasional gulp of air, Taegan reached out for his shirt and then leaned back so he could see Caleb’s face. He was taking shuddering breaths, eyes closed, and as Taegan gently wiped his face, Caleb sighed and lay still.

  He looked up as his mom quietly let herself into his room, her own eyes awash with tears, and placed a large cup of tea down next to his bed. Of course, Caleb had been loud, she would have heard him. Renee brushed a damp hair away from his eyes and nodded once. She looked at Taegan for a second searching his face, but then nodded again as if she approved and left the room as silently as she had entered it.

  Caleb’s lips were parted as he had to breathe through his mouth, but Taegan wasn’t sure he was awake. He looked exhausted, but he needed to drink. Taegan reached out for the cup and took a sip himself to check it wasn’t too hot. “Caleb, take a drink,” he commanded. He lowered the cup to Caleb’s lips, and he swallowed. Taegan took a chance that meant he was awake and could hear him.

  “I didn’t stop you because I didn’t want your touch. I stopped because I realized how incredibly selfish I was being. How could I take from you when I have given you nothing? You survived an unimaginable horror only for me to nearly kill you. You barely eat enough to keep you alive because you are just waiting for the day that you aren’t.” Taegan placed gentle fingers under Caleb’s chin to lift it, and Caleb opened storm-tossed eyes. “You have a future,” Taegan urged. “And no-one gets to decide what that is except you.

  “You humble me,” he continued. “People have stripped you of nearly everything, but you are still generous enough to want to give more.” Taegan bent his head, just able to see Caleb’s eyes widen as his own closed and he pressed a hesitant kiss to Caleb’s lips. Caleb held still, and Taegan knew he was shocked. He lifted his mouth and roamed Caleb’s face, pressing small kisses everywhere his lips touched. After a few seconds, he felt Caleb move; a cautious hand slid up his back. Taegan moaned his desire, trailing his hands around Caleb’s neck and pressing him close. He laid down, bringing Caleb with him and tucking him into his side. He nibbled his lips until he felt the small hesitant movements under him. “Just relax,” he murmured, his hands gliding and warming Caleb’s skin. This wasn’t about him. He wanted to bring pleasure to someone who had every bit of joy stripped away by others that had no right to do so. Soon Caleb’s hesitant kisses became stronger and he heard small moans from the willing body next to him. Taegan’s hand moved lower until he firmly clasped Caleb’s quickly hardening cock. The shudder from Caleb was delicious.

  “Taegan,” he cried out and pushed into his hand.

  Taegan smiled against the smooth skin of Caleb’s cheek and rolled his palm over the slick end, curling his fingers and pulling his hand back in a smooth glide. Caleb moaned and pushed against his hand. Taegan caught his lips as Caleb turned his head, and pushed his tongue in to rub and glide with Caleb’s.

  Caleb broke off. “I—”

  But Taegan didn’t need the warning. He could feel the pulse and throb in his hand, and knew that a small amount of pleasure would have a big effect on someone who had been deprived of any for so long. Taegan murmured encouragingly against Caleb’s throat and twisted his wrist and slid his fingers up and down. Caleb shuddered but didn’t cry out, then lifted his hips and Taegan felt the slick, wet, cum coat his hand. Taegan used his same shirt to wipe his hand and Caleb’s belly, and then threw it on the floor and pulled the blankets over them both.

  Caleb hadn’t moved. Taegan smiled at the dazed expression on Caleb’s face and the way he was sprawled out as if he didn’t have the energy to do anything else. He could see his breaths evening out and his eyes fighting a losing battle to stay open. Taegan didn’t mind that Caleb seemed incapable of speech. He tucked him into his side to keep him warm and brushed a kiss onto his cheek. Caleb’s eyes slid closed, but not before Taegan had seen the ghost of a smile reflected in them.

  Taegan watched him sleep until the oil in the lamp burned through and the room grew dark, thoughts churning in his mind. Taegan had never hesitated to offer the comfort of his body, but it wasn’t just that. He hadn’t smoothed his hands over Caleb’s beautiful skin and kissed those warm and willing lips out of some warped sense of altruism.

  He had killed wolves without a second thought for years so why did kissing Caleb feel like the cruelest thing he had ever done?

  Chapter Ten

  It had been nearly a week since they had let Kyan go.

  Taegan had doubled the perimeter patrols but the forest was so dense that if the boy told the wolves and they came, there would be little he could do. Strangely enough, it had been seeing Kyan’s face fall in disappointment when he told him that Neal had gone somewhere else to live that had bothered him the most; but he couldn’t run the risk of Kyan coming back to look for his friend.

  It had also been a week since they had shared the same bed and it was slowly going to kill him. Taegan had been right when he had promised Caleb he had a future, but the morning after they had slept together he had known it wouldn’t be with him. He had woken that morning to feel Caleb curled into his side deeply asleep, and he had gazed at his face in wonder. He’d looked so content. Relaxed as he’d never seen him, and T
aegan had smiled thinking how right he felt there and how he would love to wake up every morning in exactly the same way.

  That’s when he’d known. That’s when he’d known he couldn’t repeat the night before because keeping Caleb would put so many lives at risk, and it wasn’t fair to let anything else happen when he would have to let him go.

  He had come to bed late again. Every night Taegan came to bed when he hoped Caleb would be asleep and every morning he was gone when he woke up, but he could guarantee that soon after he laid down on the floor he would feel Caleb’s hand reach out and pat his chest or touch his arm. He thought he was trying to wake him the first time it had happened, but Caleb hadn’t replied when Taegan had whispered to him. The next night he had left the lamp burning and sure enough he’d watched as first Caleb seemed to inhale deeply and then shuffle right to the edge of the cot to be nearer. Then Caleb’s arm would come out of the blankets until he was able to touch some part of Taegan, and all the time Taegan knew from his deep breathing that Caleb was asleep. He seemed to have this unconscious need to be close to him at all times. He’d been very careful to spend a lot of time with him during the day. Taegan was present at every meal time and lingered until he had seen Caleb finish eating.

  And he was looking better. The hollowed cheeks were filling out. He had completely stopped wearing the sling, and his wrists were nearly healed. He knew Caleb watched him quietly sometimes. He had looked puzzled the first day Taegan had slept on the floor, but as each day passed he’d seen the hurt appear and then finally the acceptance. Caleb spent a lot of time with Renee and the younger kids all flocked to him.

  • • •